The Night Before Kindergarten

My baby is going to kindergarten tomorrow. I was under control, I was excited for him. I was ready. And now everyone is in bed and the house is quiet, and I have time with my thoughts...and I am NOT ready. How can it be?? This baby that I just brought home from the hospital? He just learned how to crawl, took his first step, had his first birthday. He just learned his first word and finally stopped crying in the nursery. For the life of me I cannot imagine how the past 5 years have flown by. This little boy who has always been a part of me will put on a backpack tomorrow morning and I will drop him off to have the time of hs life. He is the one who is supposed to come with me to drop the others off and then come home with me to read and cuddle and draw. To go to the park with me and proudly show me how he rides without training wheels. To pick me flowers and smile really big when he surprises me with them. And it's not just the beginning of kindergarten that I dread...it's the growing up part. Now his life flashes before me- he'll be needing me less and less. There will be soccer, and basketball, and baseball. There will be playdates and parties and cub scouts. Then will come camp and girls and driving. And then will come graduation...and I will have to let this baby go. And kindergarten starts it all. I hope this year I will soak it all up. I hope will revel in the flowers, in the park trips, in the book reading and cuddling. I hope I will make time to play before laundry and dishes and mopping. It is passing me by way too quickly and I don't want to miss a single minute!