Thankful...

If there's one thing I find it easy to do, it's complain. Complain about the weather, complain about what my kids are or are not doing, complain that my husband has work to do at home...blah, blah, blah! And you know what????!!! I have so incredibly much to be thankful for it isn't even funny....so I am thankful

For this...

And this...

And this one...

And let's not forget this one!

That I could never get enough of this...

Or this...

That my fridge could never have enough of these..

And the laughs I get from finding these under the door during time out :)!

That I live here...

And get to see these (thanks rain!)

Thank you Lord...how could I ask for more?

Fruit Flies

A week or two ago I was battling fruit flies in my kitchen. They were driving me CRAZY!!!! A friend of mine posted on Facebook about her own battles with the little varmints and an idea for getting rid of them. She suggested apple cider vinegar and liquid dish soap in a bowl by the kitchen sink. The vinegar attracts them with its sweet smell and they follow it blindly into the bowl. However, once in the bowl, the dish soap makes it so that they are not able to leave the bowl and their sad little lives end. I was so excited to discover the remedy and immediately got out what I needed and set the bowl up by the sink.

It seemed that I had one main pesky fly that was everywhere in my kitchen. He did not seem to be taking the bait. He circled around, but did not get low enough or close enough to get caught in the trap. For a while it annoyed me, but then I kind of started to respect the guy. I mean, it had to be tempting, and here he was still avoiding it. I almost started to root for him and was even slightly disappointed that he had caved and met his end when I saw him floating in the bowl in the morning. I mean, he was resisting, he was fighting, and in the end it had been too much and overtaken him.

I found a very close comparison to the fly and the cider mixture to us and our spiritual lives. How many times have we been in the same situations ourselves? We start out strong avoiding sin. We fly high and really are not bothered by it. Then little by little, one small subtle compromise at a time, we get closer and closer to the sweet smell. It entices us and draws us one step closer. We still feel in control, yet we let our guard down just a little more, a little more- we dip our toes in...that can't hurt. All at once we are overcome by it and jump in feet first. It's great, but then we discover one small problem- we can't get out! There's no turning back and we begin to drown. I know it seems obvious when we look at what we consider to be "big" sins- addictions, marital infidelity, etc, but I started thinking about the things in my life that I so easily overlook. Things like saying things I shouldn't to my husband and children, being judgemental, gossip, sarcasm, having a negative attitude, whining, wishing I had things someone else does. I'm pretty sure it's all the same to God. Pretty sure it's ugly and an abomination to Him and disappoints Him. On the other hand, I am really thankful that He still loves me and He grabs my hand just before it's about to sink beneath the surface and forgives me and gives me a fresh start. I hope I can stop and think about what I am about to say, stop and adjust my attitude, stop and thank God for all He has given me. I hope I will do this often and stay away from that bowl of destruction despite its sweet smell. I think I learned a valuable lesson that day from my tiny fly friend!

A few more...

Just a few more priceless quotes for me to add to the mommy memory bank (it's fading fast...it's now or never!!!)

I am all for educational placemats at the table for the kids at mealtime. However, I must strategize where things end up, because if Carson gets the president placemat, the conversation goes a little something like this:

Carson: (pointing to president's face) "Is he dead?"
Me: "Yes."
Carson: "Is he dead?"
Me: "Yes"
Carson: "Is he dead?"
Me: "Yes"
It goes on like this until we get to a few more recent ones at the end and I get to say "no" a few times.

Noah: "Mom, were you around when Jesus was on the earth?"

Carson: "I like your stomach mom. It is a lot like flubber."

Noah: "Mom were smurf cartoons around when you were a kid?"
Me: "Yes."
Noah: "Wow! They must be really old!"

Noah: "I think those people are picking flowers and herbs" (the "h" is NOT silent!)

Remembering these is good therapy! So often the days are long and I am frustrated at the way I was so impatient or yelled or went overboard. I feel sad that I rushed the bedtime because I was exhausted and just DONE!! I know the days will come all too quickly when I will miss these times and all of the simple pleasures they brought. Someday these entries will remind me of a time that passed me by in the blink of an eye. But for tonight I remain EXHAUSTED!!! :)

Boy #3

Boy #3...what can I say?? He is my baby! No matter how old he gets he will always be my baby. Everything he does is a bit bittersweet because it is the last time we will do that thing. The last first step, last first word, last first haircut, last first day of preschool and kindergarten, on and on and on.

I had no issues with my pregnancies with boys #1 and #2, but boy #3 brought some challenges and scary moments. I am thankful God chose to allow us to have him here on earth and be his parents for a while...how much we would have missed out on if He hadn't. I am always amazed at how much more quickly he does things. Being the little brother he has always wanted to keep up. He rode a scooter at an age long before the others, got his training wheels off sooner, and learned to swim at a younger age (everyone else was taking lessons, so we might as well throw him in too :).)

I am also constantly amazed at the love in this little boy's heart. He loves his family, he loves his little friends, he hates to hurt anyone's feelings. He is gentle and kind, lets others go in front of him, and has overall been fairly laid back. There of course have been days, and with his brothers his fuse is much shorter, but he is a lover much more than he is a fighter.

I love how he squeezes my hand with 3 short quick squeezes that mean "I Love You", and how he tells me he wants to live across the street with his wife someday :). I love how he wants to play restaurant with me all the time and sit on my lap to read any chance he gets. I love how excited he is when I come to his kindergarten class to help and how eager he is to help me around the house and especially to help Daddy with any projects including nails and a hammer.

As of late, Boy #3 has really begun to follow the birth order of the youngest child and try to do things for a laugh...whatever it might take. And well, quite honestly it's hilarious right now, but as he gets older it just might not be so funny and the things he does for a laugh just might get a bit scarier...much prayer required again as always. But I know God has great things planned for Carson and that He will see them through to the end. "Being confident of this that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Loving every minute I have with this little man!

More From the Babes

Many of these have been said by Carson in the last few days, but there are a couple from the others too.

Carson: He was helping me fold laundry today, and I have a bag to put more delicate things in to be washed in. He was unzipping it and said, "Mom I don't see any of those things that cover your nostrils." (He was referring to bras.)

We went bowling yesterday and it was Noah's turn and Carson was sitting next to me and said "Do you think those skinny arms can do it?" Poor Noah- he did look weighed down by the bowling ball :).

"We should sell our house for $50 and then buy an R.V. to live in instead."

"The first day I rode the bus we ran over 2 playground balls and today we ran over a soccer ball."

Landon came home from school the other day and was very serious about something he needed to tell me about recess. The names have been changed to protect the innocent :).

"Mom today at recess Bob thought Joe was the weather man. Bob does not like weathermen so he is not speaking to him. Joe keeps trying to tell him he is not the weather man, but he will not hear of it and refuses to speak to him still."

This is a really old one. When Noah was about 3 and a half or maybe 4, he would still occasionally have bathroom accidents...we had lots of constipation issues and it was just a lot of fun. One time I jokingly said, "Noah I think it is going to be hard to find a wife that is willing to change underwear." The next time he started to have an accident he ran to the bathroom sobbing. Mark went in to help him and he was very seriously sobbing, "Now I'll never get a wife!"

So glad to be able to record these priceless moments. I will love showing them to them later on!

Boy #2

Boy #2...the middle child :). When boy #2 arrived, it was like nothing I had ever experienced before. He took naps, stayed in the nursery, and rode in the car without screaming. He ate solid foods fine and was quiet sometimes- it scared me and delighted me all at once! Boy #2 is probably the one who has had the funniest things come out of his mouth.

He is a blessing. He is kind and generous and he asks how he can help me often. He loves pizza, bowling, and playing tag. Landon is a great reader and a big fan of video games. He loves his family and is very sensitive to when things are not running smoothly with family members. He is growing up before my eyes. I am so proud of the boy he is becoming. He is often far more patient and understanding of Noah than I am. He is always telling me about the kids who "need special help" and tells me that when he is older he can be a helper to them in their class. He is a very tender hearted boy.

But oh, the middle child concerns I have...that on top of being the younger brother of a special needs child and the stress it creates for the family and for him already squished in the middle. He can "stir up strife" as we call it with the best of them- pushing buttons on both sides! I hope I can be the mom he needs to help him find his own identity and to be comfortable with where he falls in the family. Again, this parenting thing is a blessing and a reason to rely on the Lord all at once. I am thankful that He knows Landon's steps, that He knows just what he needs, and that he loves him far more than I could ever imagine. It is comforting to know that at the end of the day, all I can do is love him, pray for him, and teach him to the best of my ability. His choices will be his, and I am really glad there is one who will be there for him every step of the way giving him all that I can't and loving him unconditionally and immeasurably.

I am thankful that He has plans for him and I can't wait to see all he will become. "For I know the plans I have for you", Declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future." A wonderful promise to claim for Landon every day of his life. So thankful God has entrusted him to me for this very short season of his life. I am humbled and honored.

Boy #1

A couple of days ago Boy #1 asked me if I was around when Jesus was on the earth!! Seriously- where do they come up with this stuff??!! Each of my boys are special in their own way. Boy #1 has certainly given us a ride in the parenting department. I remember being the absolutely perfect parent- knowing just what to do and say in each situation, how to discipline, what to make a big deal of what to let go, and then I had kids. OH BOY!! Boy #1 did not follow ANY of the rules for being a child...why that guy had the nerve to scream much of the day (and night), and to not follow the Baby Wise schedule that all the "good moms" were using. He screamed at the top of his lungs in the nursery and took 20 minute naps!! What a start to parenting for 2 newbies. I can still remember calling the midwife at 3:00 am on our first night home asking "WHAT DO WE DO WITH THIS KID???" He was on hour 3 of screaming. He hated being held by anyone but us. Needless to day, it was exhausting. I felt like a parenting failure much of the time in those days...still feel like that many days now with boy #1 too.

As time passed we began to discover that there were some reasons for the screaming and sleeping and eating issues. It has been such a long journey, and really one that continues on and on and on. Sometimes we are making headway, and sometimes we are in a really low valley. I think God gave us Noah for many reasons. I think He has taught us to look at things from a different perspective, the importance of praying for your children, dealt with pride issues in our lives, and taught us to rely on Him. Also to introduce us to some amazing people who have loved our son unconditionally and helped him feel accepted and safe. It is really hard to not see the end result...and then sometimes I think it is good to not see the future, but to take it one day at a time.

A dear friend and mentor once told me that we as moms cannot find our self worth in our children. I know she is right, but as a mom I find that so hard to do. If one of my kids does something stupid, I immediately feel like it is a complete reflection of me. Boy #1 has a completely different take on life than the average child and what he perceives and does is well out of my control. That is a hard pill to swallow for a control crazy mama!!

He has taught us much compassion. When I see a parent struggling with a child somewhere I am so much slower to judge them. We never know where someone is at or what their situation is, and so often we decide they are bad parents based on the one time we have seen them.

Today we are in the valley and it feels pretty deep. I love my boy more than life itself, and so often I feel discouraged with myself for getting so frustrated, upset, and downright angry with this little guy who has SO many things to deal with just to make it through the day. I am thankful for the glimpses of God I see along this road and I am even more thankful that He promises not to give me more than I can handle...think He might be pushing the limits though :). Much of the time I (and my dear son too) wish that God would take this from him to make things like having friends, riding a bike, making it through a school day, and eating a meal easy and fun like it is for other kids, but I know He sees the full picture and I know that it all has a purpose. It is just harder to see some days than others.

And so, for now I embrace the different ways of thinking and the uniqueness that is boy #1, and I pray that someday I will be a calmer, more patient, and understanding mother for him and that he will know I am his #1 fan even if I don't always show it. He is a blessing to me in many ways and I have never been more humbled or realized just how much I need the Lord than in parenting this precious boy. Every day when I send him off to school with much anxiety, I try to remember to take things as they come and just do the best I can without worrying about what others might think...easier said than done...and then I remember this verse: 1 Peter 5:7 "Cast all your anxiety on Him for He cares for you." Trying to do this one little baby step after another!