It's official. Tomorrow marks the last day of kindergarten this family will ever have. No more fun after school lunch dates before the others get home, no more playing at the park just the two of us, no more mommy/child playdates for just Carson and me. How did it happen so fast?!?!?! You always hear everyone say it will, but it never really sinks in until it actually happens to you!
I have loved this year with Carson. He has been in a classroom with a wonderful teacher and has had so many firsts: first tooth lost, first year playing sports, first books read all by himself. It has been an amazing ride. Each step is bitter sweet- like today when I realized in the pool that he is not clinging onto me and is venturing out on his own- great, but just another step in achieving more independence.
I find that too often I allow things to get in the way of savoring each and every moment of it all. I get too stressed out about little things, driven crazy by sibling fighting, exhausted at the whining rather than really listening to what is behind it. So often lately the stress of trying to figure out and help Noah is crushing and I hope my little guy has felt loved and taken care of through it all.
So many fun stages of life right now right where we are- for all of them. Hoping I will take the time to enjoy them and to realize they won't always be there...these are precious days. Below are the words to a song Carson's class sang at their end of the year program Thursday- which I cried through. It truly is my hope to see this in all of my children...I often feel I am failing miserably at it, but I hope when it is all said and done they will have felt it in their little lives.
See me beautiful,
look for the best in me.
That’s what I really am,
and all I want to be.
It may take some time
It may be hard to find,
but see me beautiful.
See me beautiful,
each and every day.
Could you take a chance?
Could you find a way?
To see me shining through
in everything I do
and see me beautiful.
~ by Kathy and Red Grammer
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Gems
Do you have any "gems" in your life??? You know, as your traveling life's rocky path all gray and brown, you pass by a colorful sparkling gem and it makes you stop in your tracks?? I am so blessed to have met many gems in my 35 I mean 29 years. People who come along at just the right time to bring a little cheer, a listening ear, some crazy laughs, or some amazing wisdom. And I love how God knows just when we need them. I often feel isolated raising these 3 boys and particularly Noah as social settings can be so stressful for him and consequently me, but I am so thankful that my gems are always there no matter what even when I feel like an idiot and the worst parent who ever walked the face of the earth. Though I find my self worth in mothering far too often (another post all in itself), they accept me for who and what I am and even for what I'm not. That my friends, is when you know you have found a true gem. I find gems come in all shapes and forms- friends, parents, grandparents, coaches, and sometimes even complete strangers.
I think some of the most incredible gems are those who have taken on the high calling of teacher. I have the utmost respect for these amazing human beings, and I understand their journey to some extent because I've walked in their shoes. I've dealt with crazy kids, I've listened to unhappy parents, I've tried over and over to get a concept through to no avail, and I've sat back and watched the light in a child's eyes when they finally "get it". It's a job like no other and I see so many give everything they have to help children acheive greatness. This year especially, I have encountered a gem...a very rare gem. This gem absolutely loves what she does. And she is gifted beyond her years at doing the job she loves. This gem is Noah's teacher. How God works all these things out I will never know, but I guess that's why He's God and they are things I will never know on this side of eternity- but I know without a doubt that He prepared this gem and us for the exact moment our paths would cross and I'm so grateful. Noah is not an easy child to have in a classroom- he does not fit into any box, he does not follow a predictable pattern, and he doesn't view the world the way anyone else does. This amazing gem has loved my little gem unconditionally. She has fought for him, protected him, supported him, held him accountable, and loved him. And there have been some ROUGH days- and on those days, she finds at least one positive thing from the day to share. And my little gem has thrived and grown and is a better little gem because of having spent time with her. I am amazed at the classroom climate she has fostered and my gem has been so loved by the others in his classroom because of this. He has received compliment notes from others, been included in groups, and has kids who are kind to him at recess. And now alas, this gem will be leaving us :(. It's not that I am not absolutely thrilled that this gem is going to become a mommy in a couple short weeks- I am so happy for her and know she will be an excellent mother, but selfishly, I am sad for my little gem- and let's face it myself- who will have to finish out the year without her. She gets him, she knows him, she does things that work for him even if they are out of the box, and most of all she believes in him. And so, it is bittersweet to see her go, but I am SO thankful for the gem that is staying- his aide- and that is another gem story all together! So, thank you God for this special gem you've given us for this time and thank you for the eyes you gave her to see my little gem and to take the time to stop along life's path of gray and brown and pick him up and take him under her wing and to realize what a beauty she is holding. Thank you for eyes that see diamonds in the rough.
And now a few "gems" of another kind:
Landon asked me if he could use Noah's headphones at school (the noice cancelling kind) because other kids are too distracting to him. I told him I knew his teacher had some and maybe he could just borrow those. He looked at me and said "Mom- what about the fleece???" He was referring to head lice :).
Mark and Carson were working on locating a draft in our fireplace and Carson came over and told me "We haven't found the giraffe yet, but we're still looking!"
Carson: "Something smells good." Noah: "I think that's just mom."
Landon: "Mom, Marcus knows how to do a top fly." I still have no clue what he was referring to as he was talking about basketball...
Landon: "Mom, since your birthday is one day before Papa's, are you one day older than him?" Thanks son.
Just a few...more that I have been racking my brain to remember and can't. Must write them down for next time- this old lady is already suffering from memory loss!
I think some of the most incredible gems are those who have taken on the high calling of teacher. I have the utmost respect for these amazing human beings, and I understand their journey to some extent because I've walked in their shoes. I've dealt with crazy kids, I've listened to unhappy parents, I've tried over and over to get a concept through to no avail, and I've sat back and watched the light in a child's eyes when they finally "get it". It's a job like no other and I see so many give everything they have to help children acheive greatness. This year especially, I have encountered a gem...a very rare gem. This gem absolutely loves what she does. And she is gifted beyond her years at doing the job she loves. This gem is Noah's teacher. How God works all these things out I will never know, but I guess that's why He's God and they are things I will never know on this side of eternity- but I know without a doubt that He prepared this gem and us for the exact moment our paths would cross and I'm so grateful. Noah is not an easy child to have in a classroom- he does not fit into any box, he does not follow a predictable pattern, and he doesn't view the world the way anyone else does. This amazing gem has loved my little gem unconditionally. She has fought for him, protected him, supported him, held him accountable, and loved him. And there have been some ROUGH days- and on those days, she finds at least one positive thing from the day to share. And my little gem has thrived and grown and is a better little gem because of having spent time with her. I am amazed at the classroom climate she has fostered and my gem has been so loved by the others in his classroom because of this. He has received compliment notes from others, been included in groups, and has kids who are kind to him at recess. And now alas, this gem will be leaving us :(. It's not that I am not absolutely thrilled that this gem is going to become a mommy in a couple short weeks- I am so happy for her and know she will be an excellent mother, but selfishly, I am sad for my little gem- and let's face it myself- who will have to finish out the year without her. She gets him, she knows him, she does things that work for him even if they are out of the box, and most of all she believes in him. And so, it is bittersweet to see her go, but I am SO thankful for the gem that is staying- his aide- and that is another gem story all together! So, thank you God for this special gem you've given us for this time and thank you for the eyes you gave her to see my little gem and to take the time to stop along life's path of gray and brown and pick him up and take him under her wing and to realize what a beauty she is holding. Thank you for eyes that see diamonds in the rough.
And now a few "gems" of another kind:
Landon asked me if he could use Noah's headphones at school (the noice cancelling kind) because other kids are too distracting to him. I told him I knew his teacher had some and maybe he could just borrow those. He looked at me and said "Mom- what about the fleece???" He was referring to head lice :).
Mark and Carson were working on locating a draft in our fireplace and Carson came over and told me "We haven't found the giraffe yet, but we're still looking!"
Carson: "Something smells good." Noah: "I think that's just mom."
Landon: "Mom, Marcus knows how to do a top fly." I still have no clue what he was referring to as he was talking about basketball...
Landon: "Mom, since your birthday is one day before Papa's, are you one day older than him?" Thanks son.
Just a few...more that I have been racking my brain to remember and can't. Must write them down for next time- this old lady is already suffering from memory loss!
Thursday, February 3, 2011
More Funnies
It has been a LONG time since my last post. It is not that the babes have disappointed in their hilarious comments, but somehow the nights and days and weeks and months just get away from me! Our schedule is crazy full, but I am feeling like we are SO blessed. So many fun things to experience with these little ones- and it is speeding by us far too quickly. Landon and Carson are in full swing with Upward Basketball. We love Upward!! It is a wonderful christian basketball league where the players are taught basketball skills and learn about God's love for them. They each receive a star at the end of each game for something they did well. It could be a basketball skill or it could be a character trait- or the Christ like-ness star. This is the first year Carson is old enough to play and he is so excited!!! Last year he was faithful to wear Landon's old jersey to each game. He was so excited to run out of the tunnel when his name was called that first game and high five all the spectators...and he still is!! Kinder games are pretty hilarious! He is having a great time. Landon is having fun as well and improving a lot. Last week he made 2 baskets in the first half (we had to leave after that as Carson's game conflicted and Mark was coaching his game that day- he assures us he made another in the 2nd half, but one never knows!)and was all over the court. It has been great to see him grow more confident. O:k- enough from me now here are the comments from the Babes.
Carson's bus driver tends to be a bit loud and sometimes "yells" in my opinion. He is a very nice man, but there are some crazy kinders on the bus and sometimes you just have to be loud to get their attention in the back of the bus! So, I asked Carson about it one day and he said, "Well he is old you know. He has to yell a lot. I think he is about 19." This would be a wonderful compliment for this man who must be in his 60s :).
One day we had some crazy weather- hail, rain, sun, clouds, all in a matter of minutes. Carson looked at me and said, "I think Jesus's weather machine is broken!"
I told Carson a couple of weekends ago that his grandparents were coming to watch his game. He said, "Awesome! I hope I get a touchdown!" (Keep in mind we are playing basketball here!)
Landon: "Mom I can never play football. You have to have your name on the back of your jersey. That would be too embarrassing!" (Snodgrass is a bit much at times)
Noah and Mark were riding in the car and the radio was telling about a website that had Jesus.org in it. Noah looked at Mark and said, "I didn't know Jesus had a website."
Noah and Mark are also going through a book together called Boyhood and Beyond. One of the chapters told a story of a boy who found an inappropriate magazine and threw it away instead of looking at it. Noah wondered what was wrong with a magazine. Mark told him what it was and he said, "Oh no! That's terrible! I thought it was Oriental Trading!" He has a bit of an Oriental Trading catalog obsession :).
I recently lamented to Carson about the fact that I was getting too old and he assured me that when I have my birthday I will finally be able to grow taller.
Carson: "Noah should really play more sports so he can get snacks."
Some of these happened a while back, but I must write them down to remember them some day. And there are more that I wish I could remember but can't...which is why I must blog more and get them down as they come. I love these boys. I love that Carson asked me to get out his baby book tonight and read to him about when he was "in my tummy and then a baby." I love that Noah has had 8 wonderful days in a row at school- a record for him! I love that Landon just turned 8 and had a Beaver bash. I love watching them learn and grow and succeed. I love the conversation I had with all 3 of them today about how Jesus is the only way to heaven and that God's Word stands on its own- it doesn't need to be added to and it doesn't need anything taken away from it either. I loved looking at the scrapbooks I finished that arrived in the mail today and seeing so many precious memories from last year- and yes, there was a twinge of sadness as I realized how much they have all grown in just one year! I love this stage of life- they are independent and capable of doing so much, yet so sweet and tender at the same time. And there are challenges, and there are difficulties, and there are days I think I may not make it, but none of it changes my love for these boys. And this whole parenting thing makes me rely completely on the One who loves me unconditionally. And that is a place I love to be!
Carson's bus driver tends to be a bit loud and sometimes "yells" in my opinion. He is a very nice man, but there are some crazy kinders on the bus and sometimes you just have to be loud to get their attention in the back of the bus! So, I asked Carson about it one day and he said, "Well he is old you know. He has to yell a lot. I think he is about 19." This would be a wonderful compliment for this man who must be in his 60s :).
One day we had some crazy weather- hail, rain, sun, clouds, all in a matter of minutes. Carson looked at me and said, "I think Jesus's weather machine is broken!"
I told Carson a couple of weekends ago that his grandparents were coming to watch his game. He said, "Awesome! I hope I get a touchdown!" (Keep in mind we are playing basketball here!)
Landon: "Mom I can never play football. You have to have your name on the back of your jersey. That would be too embarrassing!" (Snodgrass is a bit much at times)
Noah and Mark were riding in the car and the radio was telling about a website that had Jesus.org in it. Noah looked at Mark and said, "I didn't know Jesus had a website."
Noah and Mark are also going through a book together called Boyhood and Beyond. One of the chapters told a story of a boy who found an inappropriate magazine and threw it away instead of looking at it. Noah wondered what was wrong with a magazine. Mark told him what it was and he said, "Oh no! That's terrible! I thought it was Oriental Trading!" He has a bit of an Oriental Trading catalog obsession :).
I recently lamented to Carson about the fact that I was getting too old and he assured me that when I have my birthday I will finally be able to grow taller.
Carson: "Noah should really play more sports so he can get snacks."
Some of these happened a while back, but I must write them down to remember them some day. And there are more that I wish I could remember but can't...which is why I must blog more and get them down as they come. I love these boys. I love that Carson asked me to get out his baby book tonight and read to him about when he was "in my tummy and then a baby." I love that Noah has had 8 wonderful days in a row at school- a record for him! I love that Landon just turned 8 and had a Beaver bash. I love watching them learn and grow and succeed. I love the conversation I had with all 3 of them today about how Jesus is the only way to heaven and that God's Word stands on its own- it doesn't need to be added to and it doesn't need anything taken away from it either. I loved looking at the scrapbooks I finished that arrived in the mail today and seeing so many precious memories from last year- and yes, there was a twinge of sadness as I realized how much they have all grown in just one year! I love this stage of life- they are independent and capable of doing so much, yet so sweet and tender at the same time. And there are challenges, and there are difficulties, and there are days I think I may not make it, but none of it changes my love for these boys. And this whole parenting thing makes me rely completely on the One who loves me unconditionally. And that is a place I love to be!
Friday, November 19, 2010
Thankful...
If there's one thing I find it easy to do, it's complain. Complain about the weather, complain about what my kids are or are not doing, complain that my husband has work to do at home...blah, blah, blah! And you know what????!!! I have so incredibly much to be thankful for it isn't even funny....so I am thankful
For this...
And this...
And this one...
And let's not forget this one!
That I could never get enough of this...
Or this...
That my fridge could never have enough of these.. 
And the laughs I get from finding these under the door during time out :)!
That I live here...
And get to see these (thanks rain!)
Thank you Lord...how could I ask for more?
Monday, October 25, 2010
Fruit Flies
A week or two ago I was battling fruit flies in my kitchen. They were driving me CRAZY!!!! A friend of mine posted on Facebook about her own battles with the little varmints and an idea for getting rid of them. She suggested apple cider vinegar and liquid dish soap in a bowl by the kitchen sink. The vinegar attracts them with its sweet smell and they follow it blindly into the bowl. However, once in the bowl, the dish soap makes it so that they are not able to leave the bowl and their sad little lives end. I was so excited to discover the remedy and immediately got out what I needed and set the bowl up by the sink.
It seemed that I had one main pesky fly that was everywhere in my kitchen. He did not seem to be taking the bait. He circled around, but did not get low enough or close enough to get caught in the trap. For a while it annoyed me, but then I kind of started to respect the guy. I mean, it had to be tempting, and here he was still avoiding it. I almost started to root for him and was even slightly disappointed that he had caved and met his end when I saw him floating in the bowl in the morning. I mean, he was resisting, he was fighting, and in the end it had been too much and overtaken him.
I found a very close comparison to the fly and the cider mixture to us and our spiritual lives. How many times have we been in the same situations ourselves? We start out strong avoiding sin. We fly high and really are not bothered by it. Then little by little, one small subtle compromise at a time, we get closer and closer to the sweet smell. It entices us and draws us one step closer. We still feel in control, yet we let our guard down just a little more, a little more- we dip our toes in...that can't hurt. All at once we are overcome by it and jump in feet first. It's great, but then we discover one small problem- we can't get out! There's no turning back and we begin to drown. I know it seems obvious when we look at what we consider to be "big" sins- addictions, marital infidelity, etc, but I started thinking about the things in my life that I so easily overlook. Things like saying things I shouldn't to my husband and children, being judgemental, gossip, sarcasm, having a negative attitude, whining, wishing I had things someone else does. I'm pretty sure it's all the same to God. Pretty sure it's ugly and an abomination to Him and disappoints Him. On the other hand, I am really thankful that He still loves me and He grabs my hand just before it's about to sink beneath the surface and forgives me and gives me a fresh start. I hope I can stop and think about what I am about to say, stop and adjust my attitude, stop and thank God for all He has given me. I hope I will do this often and stay away from that bowl of destruction despite its sweet smell. I think I learned a valuable lesson that day from my tiny fly friend!
It seemed that I had one main pesky fly that was everywhere in my kitchen. He did not seem to be taking the bait. He circled around, but did not get low enough or close enough to get caught in the trap. For a while it annoyed me, but then I kind of started to respect the guy. I mean, it had to be tempting, and here he was still avoiding it. I almost started to root for him and was even slightly disappointed that he had caved and met his end when I saw him floating in the bowl in the morning. I mean, he was resisting, he was fighting, and in the end it had been too much and overtaken him.
I found a very close comparison to the fly and the cider mixture to us and our spiritual lives. How many times have we been in the same situations ourselves? We start out strong avoiding sin. We fly high and really are not bothered by it. Then little by little, one small subtle compromise at a time, we get closer and closer to the sweet smell. It entices us and draws us one step closer. We still feel in control, yet we let our guard down just a little more, a little more- we dip our toes in...that can't hurt. All at once we are overcome by it and jump in feet first. It's great, but then we discover one small problem- we can't get out! There's no turning back and we begin to drown. I know it seems obvious when we look at what we consider to be "big" sins- addictions, marital infidelity, etc, but I started thinking about the things in my life that I so easily overlook. Things like saying things I shouldn't to my husband and children, being judgemental, gossip, sarcasm, having a negative attitude, whining, wishing I had things someone else does. I'm pretty sure it's all the same to God. Pretty sure it's ugly and an abomination to Him and disappoints Him. On the other hand, I am really thankful that He still loves me and He grabs my hand just before it's about to sink beneath the surface and forgives me and gives me a fresh start. I hope I can stop and think about what I am about to say, stop and adjust my attitude, stop and thank God for all He has given me. I hope I will do this often and stay away from that bowl of destruction despite its sweet smell. I think I learned a valuable lesson that day from my tiny fly friend!
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
A few more...
Just a few more priceless quotes for me to add to the mommy memory bank (it's fading fast...it's now or never!!!)
I am all for educational placemats at the table for the kids at mealtime. However, I must strategize where things end up, because if Carson gets the president placemat, the conversation goes a little something like this:
Carson: (pointing to president's face) "Is he dead?"
Me: "Yes."
Carson: "Is he dead?"
Me: "Yes"
Carson: "Is he dead?"
Me: "Yes"
It goes on like this until we get to a few more recent ones at the end and I get to say "no" a few times.
Noah: "Mom, were you around when Jesus was on the earth?"
Carson: "I like your stomach mom. It is a lot like flubber."
Noah: "Mom were smurf cartoons around when you were a kid?"
Me: "Yes."
Noah: "Wow! They must be really old!"
Noah: "I think those people are picking flowers and herbs" (the "h" is NOT silent!)
Remembering these is good therapy! So often the days are long and I am frustrated at the way I was so impatient or yelled or went overboard. I feel sad that I rushed the bedtime because I was exhausted and just DONE!! I know the days will come all too quickly when I will miss these times and all of the simple pleasures they brought. Someday these entries will remind me of a time that passed me by in the blink of an eye. But for tonight I remain EXHAUSTED!!! :)
I am all for educational placemats at the table for the kids at mealtime. However, I must strategize where things end up, because if Carson gets the president placemat, the conversation goes a little something like this:
Carson: (pointing to president's face) "Is he dead?"
Me: "Yes."
Carson: "Is he dead?"
Me: "Yes"
Carson: "Is he dead?"
Me: "Yes"
It goes on like this until we get to a few more recent ones at the end and I get to say "no" a few times.
Noah: "Mom, were you around when Jesus was on the earth?"
Carson: "I like your stomach mom. It is a lot like flubber."
Noah: "Mom were smurf cartoons around when you were a kid?"
Me: "Yes."
Noah: "Wow! They must be really old!"
Noah: "I think those people are picking flowers and herbs" (the "h" is NOT silent!)
Remembering these is good therapy! So often the days are long and I am frustrated at the way I was so impatient or yelled or went overboard. I feel sad that I rushed the bedtime because I was exhausted and just DONE!! I know the days will come all too quickly when I will miss these times and all of the simple pleasures they brought. Someday these entries will remind me of a time that passed me by in the blink of an eye. But for tonight I remain EXHAUSTED!!! :)
Monday, September 27, 2010
Boy #3
Boy #3...what can I say?? He is my baby! No matter how old he gets he will always be my baby. Everything he does is a bit bittersweet because it is the last time we will do that thing. The last first step, last first word, last first haircut, last first day of preschool and kindergarten, on and on and on.
I had no issues with my pregnancies with boys #1 and #2, but boy #3 brought some challenges and scary moments. I am thankful God chose to allow us to have him here on earth and be his parents for a while...how much we would have missed out on if He hadn't. I am always amazed at how much more quickly he does things. Being the little brother he has always wanted to keep up. He rode a scooter at an age long before the others, got his training wheels off sooner, and learned to swim at a younger age (everyone else was taking lessons, so we might as well throw him in too :).)
I am also constantly amazed at the love in this little boy's heart. He loves his family, he loves his little friends, he hates to hurt anyone's feelings. He is gentle and kind, lets others go in front of him, and has overall been fairly laid back. There of course have been days, and with his brothers his fuse is much shorter, but he is a lover much more than he is a fighter.
I love how he squeezes my hand with 3 short quick squeezes that mean "I Love You", and how he tells me he wants to live across the street with his wife someday :). I love how he wants to play restaurant with me all the time and sit on my lap to read any chance he gets. I love how excited he is when I come to his kindergarten class to help and how eager he is to help me around the house and especially to help Daddy with any projects including nails and a hammer.
As of late, Boy #3 has really begun to follow the birth order of the youngest child and try to do things for a laugh...whatever it might take. And well, quite honestly it's hilarious right now, but as he gets older it just might not be so funny and the things he does for a laugh just might get a bit scarier...much prayer required again as always. But I know God has great things planned for Carson and that He will see them through to the end. "Being confident of this that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Loving every minute I have with this little man!
I had no issues with my pregnancies with boys #1 and #2, but boy #3 brought some challenges and scary moments. I am thankful God chose to allow us to have him here on earth and be his parents for a while...how much we would have missed out on if He hadn't. I am always amazed at how much more quickly he does things. Being the little brother he has always wanted to keep up. He rode a scooter at an age long before the others, got his training wheels off sooner, and learned to swim at a younger age (everyone else was taking lessons, so we might as well throw him in too :).)
I am also constantly amazed at the love in this little boy's heart. He loves his family, he loves his little friends, he hates to hurt anyone's feelings. He is gentle and kind, lets others go in front of him, and has overall been fairly laid back. There of course have been days, and with his brothers his fuse is much shorter, but he is a lover much more than he is a fighter.
I love how he squeezes my hand with 3 short quick squeezes that mean "I Love You", and how he tells me he wants to live across the street with his wife someday :). I love how he wants to play restaurant with me all the time and sit on my lap to read any chance he gets. I love how excited he is when I come to his kindergarten class to help and how eager he is to help me around the house and especially to help Daddy with any projects including nails and a hammer.
As of late, Boy #3 has really begun to follow the birth order of the youngest child and try to do things for a laugh...whatever it might take. And well, quite honestly it's hilarious right now, but as he gets older it just might not be so funny and the things he does for a laugh just might get a bit scarier...much prayer required again as always. But I know God has great things planned for Carson and that He will see them through to the end. "Being confident of this that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Loving every minute I have with this little man!
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